Who in Ventura hates gays the most? The answer may surprise you...

As per the L.A. Times' Proposition 8 donor tracker, the city's biggest homophobe is: Lassen's Health Food! Apparently, the proceeds from all those free-range cantaloupes and all-natural wood chips (or whatever the hell they sell there) have gone toward making sure no queers threaten the sanctity of Mr. Lassen's marriage -- $27,500 of it, anyway.

Hope your clean colons were worth it, hippies.

Other big-time pro-Prop 8 contributors in my beloved ex-hometown, where even the organic grocers draw the line at gays tying the knot:

- CHERYL WILDE (WIFE OF COMMUNITY MEMORIAL HEALTH SYSTEM CEO GARY WILDE), $27,500
- BOHL, NIXON & SCHONEMAN, $2,000
- KARL HARER (HARER & MORTENSEN CHIROPRACTIC), $1,500
- LORI HOOKE, $1,200
- BRYCE JOHNSON, $1,000
- JOAN BEEM, $1,000
- JOHN JONES DDS, $1,000
- MARTHA SUTTNER, $1,000
- MARY HUXLEY, $1,000
- RIDGWAY POPE, $1,000
- TED COOK, $1,000
- TERRI KUMP, $1,000
- VENTURA PEST CONTROL, $1,000